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  • Writer's pictureDr. Jill

Grief is "effin" weird

One of my former youth group "kids" wrote a post on Facebook the other day sharing how they felt about managing their grief about the death of their sibling. They wrote, "Grief is fucking weird, and I thought I was a champ at dealing with the ebbs and flows of it but the last year rocked me." This post got me thinking.

In the past few years, I have presided over many funerals for friends and family and just recently, I had to say goodbye to my first furbaby, Otto Joe. Man, that was rough. I always knew the day would come when I would have to say goodbye but I wasn't ready for it so soon. Otto was 12, he rescued me. We had 7 awesome years together. It sucked when we had to make that decision. It sucked even worse when I had to pick up his ashes from the vet's office. It sucked even worser (not a word, but for now it's all I can think of) when I had to sleep without him snuggled up next to me for the first time.

Yes, Grief is weird. You never know when it's going to hit. As my "kid" shared, you think you're a champ dealing with it then all of the sudden, *BAM,* you get slapped with the biggest wave you've ever experienced. The good part about the wave is that eventually it goes back to where it came from and each wave after that leaves more quickly. The bad part about it is that it never fully goes away -- it just impacts us differently.The next time you experience the wave, ride it out. It's ok to feel it and wade in it a little bit but please don't put on your ducky float and stay there.

I just had a conversation with a friend of mine who is facing their own mortality much sooner than they ever thought they would have to. They shared that their life has been put into perspective and that most of the things they thought were important really aren't. What's important is what is right in front of you. Yourself, your family, your friends, your beloved fur babies. Yes, your loved one who has left you will always be in your memories and nobody can take them away from you. Life is to be lived. Cherish the memories.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Suess.

Until next time,

Dr. Jill

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