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  • Writer's pictureDr. Jill

Don't Poke the Hornet's Nest

I met with a client this morning and we were talking about reopening old wounds and why we tend to do that. Sometimes we "like" the feeling we get from re-experiencing the hurt. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes we do it because it makes us feel alive. Sometimes it doesn't.

My question was "what happens when you poke the hornet's nest?" Obvious answers were, "I get stung," "I cause chaos," "I get hurt." EXACTLY. Why would you want to cause chaos, get hurt and stung, and have to carry the "ouchie" from the sting with you? This is something you need to think about. What are the benefits of causing chaos? Does it make you feel important? Do you like to see the wreckage of your actions? Does the sting allow you to play the victim? Does the sting allow you to seek attention when you might not have a "reason?"

If you are constantly poking the hornet's nest, it's time to really process why you're doing it and the benefits you're receiving. Once you figure that out, you can decide if those benefits are healthy for you or if your unmet need is being fulfilled.

Now think about what happens if you don't poke the hornet's nest. No negative consequences, right? You now have the ability to move on from the hurt/pain of past experiences. You now have the ability to grow. You now have the ability to practice healthy coping skills. You now have the ability to lead the life you actually need to lead.

So, dear reader, I ask you...are you poking the nest today?

Until next time,

Dr. Jill

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